Wednesday, May 16, 2007

All the Smiths Falls news that's fit to print ..

... or air .

Smiths Falls round-up ....

First .. the good stuff....

A look at the middle of The Record News reveals the smiling mugshots of all the local constabulary ... by my count 17 constables, 5 sargeants and "the brass" ...on the occasion of police week. Now, I'm thinkin' it's a good job we have all of these fine, capable individuals .. because ... this weeks Crimestoppers blurb reveals the most atrocious crime I've heard of happening in some time in our fair Town and requires the talents of each and everyone of these brave souls to solve.

Wanna know what it was ?? Remember .. I'm not making this up, I'm not allowed to make stuff up ...

FIRE BURNS HOLE IN PATIO CUSHION CHAIR

See .. I told you it was atrocious !!! Just cause it's soooo good I'll type the rest out ...

On Apr.26, Smiths Falls Police were called to the Queen Street area in response to a mischief call. On arrival police learned that person(s) unknown had attended the victim's back yard area and had lit fire to a patio chair cushion. The burn left a hole a foot in diameter in the middle of the cushion.

Remember folks .. they pay out cash rewards for your tips ... up to $1000 for a $10 cushion !

From A-channel ... Scam in Smiths Falls (SEE VIDEO)

A scam artist may be targeting residents in Smiths Falls who are down on their luck.

No worries hear folks ... I can't believe a-channel picked this up ... you wanna know what the REAL story was ... some lady and her friends were filling out "on-line surveys" ... and got an in-box full of spam ...

SOME GREAT CUTTING EDGE JOURNALISM THERE !!!

Commuter rail: The Record News drops the ball again on this one ... just a short paragraph .. which included the news of another noon-time train. Oh, ya ... they told us about the proposed bus service Clive told me about in EARLY JANUARY .... On the ball again...

Censorship at SFDCI: Seems some of the kiddies are upset the school play has been pulled due to racy content ... described by one parent as "soft-core porn" ... Of course the kiddies aren't too pleased with this and organized a "petition" and "rally" ... crying that "the halting of the production is for discriminatory reasons (what the hell does that mean ???) that encroach upon our freedom of expression and speech"

NEWSFLASH... SON.... You have no such rights until you get off the tit, get a job and start paying taxes !!!

THEY DID IT AGAIN

After their laziness was exposed in last weekends EMC and they got their pee-pee WHACKED by a letter writer and then yours truly ... The Record News AGAIN published a letter from Irene Beckholm, President of theLANARK, FRONTENAC, LENNOX AND ADDINGTON FEDERAL LIBERAL ASSOCIATION.

And didn't bother to tell the good readers of the newspaper who she was ... I thought it was just laziness ... but maybe I was wrong.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Mike,

Here's a tip why don't they just give me the 1000.00 and forget this shocking crime was ever commited...

As for the A-channel reporting spam the only one's it will help these days are people not using computers, and really this lady actully thought she could get this money??

Anonymous said...

Oh No! The play might me PG rated! Racy content. . . The colour purple was a PG movie. Someone should leave the censorship to the professionals and stop pretending that they have the job! WTF?

Mike said...

I'm not sure what the controversial parts of the play were ... but again it was described by a parent as "softcore porn" and was said to require "extensive editing" to make it acceptable to put on during school hours. I'm willing to bet if it was your 14 yo daughter and she was participating in the "softcore porn" ... uh, you might have a beef with it.

If students want to take part in such a play (with their parent's approval) that's fine ... but to put on a play on that might be offensive to some ... and present it to the entire school body is a little over the top ... sensitivities being what they are.

The compromise worked out between the students and senior faculty was in my opinion, fair. The students could present the play, just not during school hours... Thus, anyone not offended could go and see ... and those who might be can just stay home..

I took offence to the paper giving so much ink to some twerp who doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground... what the hell does discrimination have to do with this issue ? It's about morality, decency and sensitivity. He rants on about free speech and expression.. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a clue about the responsibilities that come with said freedoms ... besides as I said .. he doesn't get such freedoms until he's off the tit .... until then it's up to parents and where school is in question, the faculty.

They, after all, run the show. As it should be.

Clive said...

I was struck by how similar all of Smiths Falls finest appear - square faces, square jaws... someone should do a study on the genetic markers causing predisposition to become a police officer.

Good call on the play IMHO.

Wonder if anyone in SF wants to buy a bridge, cheap?

Bugs Raymond's sober twin said...

Ain't A-Channel the best farging journalists around ?
Oh yes, they're tops

Anonymous said...

I don't know what the content in the paly was either but I'm sure that it wasn't porn or the play would'nt be performed at all! I guess the real joke involves the kiddies trying to come up with their own legal argument and the paper actually reporting it.

Everyone should be alerted to the new chair cushion arsonist on the loose with the $1,000.00 bounty on their head. The town just isn't safe anymore! Hide your lawn furniture! I think that CSI should make an episode based on the story.

On another note, the spammers are after you're email address. Thank the Record News for making us all aware!